■ Physical: Shoving, hitting,
■ Verbal: Yelling, screaming,
■ Emotional: Spreading rumors,
■ Sexual: Unwanted touching
■ Psychological: Manipulation, mind
games, guilt tripping, controlling
In its most extreme forms, dating violence can even lead to stalking,
rape, and murder.
Teens often won’t tell their parents or friends that dating violence is
occurring. They may be embarrassed, ashamed, and confused. It is
important that teens know that a partner does not have the right to tell
him or her whom to see, what to do,or what to wear. No one has the
right to hit or control anyone else.
■ Wants to get serious quickly
■ Will not take “no” for an answer
■ Is jealous and possessive, wants to pick his or her partner’s friends and
■ Is controlling and bossy—makes all the decisions, does not take
others’ opinions seriously, uses put-downs when alone or with friends
■ Uses guilt trips (e.g., “If you really loved me, you would . . .”)
■ Blames the victim for what is wrong (e.g., “It’s because of you that I get
■ Apologizes for violent behavior (e.g., “I promise I’ll never do it again”)
Give your teenager a chance to talk. Listen quietly to the whole
■ Tell your teenager you are there to help, not to judge.
■ If your teenager does not want to talk with you, help her find
another trusted person to talk with.
■ Focus on your teenager; do not put down the abusive partner. Point
out how unhappy your teenager seems to be while with the partner.
■ If your teenager wants to break up with an abusive partner, advise that
the break be definite and final. Support your teenager’s decision and
be ready to help.
■ Take whatever safety measures are necessary. Have friends available
so your teenager does not have to walk alone. Consider changing
class schedules or getting help from the guidance counselor, school
principal, or the police if necessary.
■ Ask your teen’s school to offer teen dating violence prevention and
@LrjFoundation: Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
Sponsored by: MetLife & Cody’s Car Show , August 14, 2021!